Irish wake traditions shock English friend
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Hugo Harvey of Cork, Ireland, described a conversation with his English friend after his grandmother’s wake, where she questioned his admission of being hungover.
Harvey explained that in his community, funerals involve a gathering at the deceased’s home, open to all acquaintances, followed by a church service, burial, and then a continuation of the mourning at a local bar.
His grandmother herself had attended a wake just weeks before her death and led a lively celebration afterward, setting a precedent for her own funeral. Family and neighbors gathered in the living room to view her remains before the formal services, a practice his friend found unsettling. Harvey noted the differing approaches to death between Ireland and England, where distance and careful management of grief are preferred.
While his friend believed funerals should be solely solemn, Harvey’s family combined mourning with celebration and storytelling, acknowledging a life fully lived. The conversation highlighted differing beliefs about expressing grief and the appropriate way to honor a loved one’s memory, but ultimately offered both friends a better understanding of each other’s perspectives.
